The Break
Between January and April this year I took a break from social media. I deleted my Facebook, messenger and Instagram. I didn't open Tiktok. I only used Pinterest and Youtube for knowledge and inspiration.
I initially left because of frustrations over the possible banning of Tiktok. I later came to realize I was being influenced to feel this way or that about so many things in my life. I took the step back not realizing the profound impact it would have in me and my mental health. It was hard at first as does breaking any habit. I like so many people look at the influencers on their screen as friends in life. Quitting social media felt like I had moved away from people I'd seen everyday and it felt like I wouldn't see them ever again. It was sad and heavy. I lost the biggest source contact and communication with my own family and friends. I felt so isolated and disconnected.
Isolation and disconnection was exactly what I needed to find myself. Find who I am, figure out how I really feel about things in life, my own thoughts and opinions. The last few years I have found myself analyzing, dissecting, and deconstructing the beliefs and ways I was brought up with, to now only realize I was accepting other peoples ideas and beliefs as my own again, but as an adult. I couldn't see it until I took a step back.
Stepping back from social media also opened up my day. No more doom scrolling or being attached to my phone 24/7. I was a slave to watching my favorite creators, responding to comments, making and posting videos, etc. Not anymore. My daily anxiety lessened so much. I have so much less daily guilt and self shaming. I found myself having time to do the things I always gave myself crap for not making time for, like writing my book or drawing and painting. I have been reading more. I do have a full and complex life but it feels easy and calmer.
I have managed to find myself again, and do things I'd want to do. I encourage anyone and everyone to do this for themselves. Disconnect from the narrative of other people, and their thought, their beliefs, and their drama. Life is meant to be lived. Not idly scrolled through. Disconnect.
Photo credit to Pixabay.com
https://pixabay.com/photos/new-year-background-woman-silhouette-570883/
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