Cultivating Patience Through Presence
I can't speak for all, but I'm sure most people can relate. As a mom of many I often find myself busy. The busier I am, the more rushed I feel, the less patience for things or people I have. The more I find myself focusing on the have to's, and the less I am aware of the right now. The more I am stressed the more likely I am to not have patience with people, or things. Taking time to learn about and practice mindfulness has helped me create and grow my ability for patience.
An analogy I think of when I look at the times I am over extending myself, pushing busyness, feeling rushed, pulled in a million directions, or stuck in the past, it is like I am not only trying to make and eat todays meals but yesterdays and tomorrows as well.
When we are not being present we are either dwelling in our past or anticipating tomorrow. When you take on too many tasks, thoughts and emotions, you lose your ability to handle the now. As many parents know when you are overstimulated or stressed by life the people who make us snap are usually our kids, significant others and loved ones, if not the innocent bystanders on the road or in the store. When you allow yourself to put down the thoughts, emotions and stresses from yesterday and tomorrow, live in the now. Life feels a lot more livable and patience is much easily learned.
It matters not only for your person and professional relationships to have mindfulness and patience but also for your own mental health
Some tools for mindfulness and presence
Meditation
Grounding
Affirmations
Quick mindfulness exercises
Breath work
Meditation
Choosing to meditate in the morning, evening or both for a few minutes, can set your mode for the day, release the days stresses and allow you to process and let them go.
Grounding
Grounding (earthing) is easy and simple stand barefoot in a lawn, or barefoot touching the earth for 10-20 minutes a day. It helps bring you back to where you are, when you are. It helps also by aligning your biological clock with the Earth's natural electrical and magnetic fields, resetting your circadian rhythm.
Affirmations
Affirmations help you choose where your thoughts are focused
The 5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Method
Identify:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can physically feel
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
Box Breathing:
Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold for 4 seconds. Repeat 3-4 times.
These exercises help bring you out of past/future thinking and into the now. When you are in the now it is easier to have calm and patience.
I have found in being present and mindful, putting down yesterdays sorrows and tomorrows worries, experiencing the now is a gift. By not being stressed out by things outside of my control. I have the ability to maintain patience when things are thrown my way. Whether its a temperamental teen, sick kid, bad driver or unexpected bill. It's not too much to handle when you are only handling today.
I encourage you to put down yesterday and tomorrow. Just sit with and enjoy the now you are living in. You cannot erase yesterdays pain, worrying about tomorrow won't prevent negative things from happening. Don't carry anything but today. Have the mind to have patience for the people you love, the world around you and most important of all, yourself.
All you really have is now.





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