I miss

    I do love the snow. I'm excited for the forecast of a blizzard. Yet I really miss the rain. I miss the feel of it, the smell and the sight of it. I miss the rain drops falling to earth, and bouncing off of me. I miss the warm light showers to the cold painful ones that sting. I miss the smells of freshness and life. It's like mother earth wipes the slate clean to begin again. I miss the chance of doom written in the clouds. Their many shades of gray swirling together. Rolling across the skies like an avalanche no one can escape. I miss the flashes of light from the bolts reaching through the heavens. Resembling branches and roots of a tree growing further outwards from the base. The boom of thunder that echos through the land, shaking the earth. The thrill from the sound. I miss the uncertainty of the possibility of tornadoes and the adrenaline rushed threat of them. I really do miss the rain.

15 years

Prompt #21 Write a letter to the 10-year old child you had been.

Dear 10-year old me,
    What will happen in the next 15 years. Mom has two more daughters, these sisters are hard for you to connect with but you will try. You will go back to school and make many friends, (and enemies without even trying.) Some will stay, some will go, some will break your heart and they will never know. Some you will consider your best friend and they won't think the same way. You will have many, many friends put boyfriends and girlfriends before your friendship. But you will do the same when you have a boyfriend. You will be kissed before your married, you will have a baby before then too. You will cause so much mischief, and not realize what you've put your family through (until you're older). You will fall in love a lot, only a few of those boys will make you cry. Expect one of those boys to leave and never look back and expect the other to always be there as your friend. High school will take you in many different ways. You will constantly change who you are, trying to find yourself. You will cut all of your hair off and dye it every color, changing it ever two weeks. You will pierce your lip when a bunch of goofy teenage boys are playing outside your bedroom window. You will listen to Hanson and Backstreet Boys in middle school and then discover Blink 182. You will play broom hockey once, a stranger will buy you a pet mouse. You will love going to the army surplus store. You don't finish high school, but you really really wanted to, something you'll never get over. When you have your first baby you will have a son first. Even though you think you will only have daughters.

    One day you will see a boy playing in the courtyard of your high school. All the other girls will google over him too. You will walk a different way to the bus each day from then on just to watch him playing football with his friends. You will have a crush on him until your life ends (maybe even after). He will be your knight in shining armor, he will be your prince charming. He will sweep you off your feet, you will get married, and make four more beautiful babies. Life will be hard, but they're more than worth it and even in you darkest times you are not alone.

Love,

  Me

War

    All day today I have been busy doing daily things, and even though I've been doing other things I have been trying to think about what to write about. That's why the post  is so late today. I was thinking though about all of my own personal wars with myself. I want to eat what everyone else is eating but I don't want to gain my lost weight back, I want to play WoW but I don't know if I have better things to do. All day without realizing it, and probably everyday before too, I war over this and that. Don't buy the eclairs buy something healthier. Don't drink the soda, have water. Don't hate on myself as much as I do. I need to work on Christmas gifts instead of gaming....visa versa and the list goes on. Trying to figure out what to do with  every decision I have to make. I wonder then if world  peace is even fathomable because people are always at war with some one even if it's just with themselves. Is it even possible for every person to be accepting of every person and everything about each person? I think the wars we wage with ourselves are on some levels so much deeper than the tiffs we have with the people around us. Every person struggles with something, some how, at all times.Warring with yourself is more difficult than other confrontations. When you have something happen between yourself and someone else you have your side and that's all you need, and you can stick strong. You know your side, and your story. When you fight with yourself you have all stories, and all reasons, and finding the "right" thing for yourself is harder to decide. For some people decisions are much easier and they do whatever they think the moment they think it, I can't do that. Everything has a consequence, most times the consequences seem like rewards at first and the some rewards seem like consequences. Eating healthier while everyone else eats "normal" food feels like a consequence but it will reward me with a healthier body and hopefully make it easier to lose my weight. Playing video games all day feels like a reward but in turn has consequences. House is a mess, laundry not done, dishes stacked up, kids are smelly, and hubby is hungry. Every day you win some, every day you lose some, it's all give and take. 

Let the battle continue.

Let it snow

The snow slowly dances in the air,

as it falls slowly to the ground

Every flake moves with no care,

swirling all around

White blankets the world,

the flakes make themselves known

The puffs are twirled,

when the winter wind is blown

As each crystal looks,

trying to finding a place to set

Landing quietly in nooks, 

without seeming a threat

Once they find their place,

anywhere it seems

They shimmer there with grace,

and glitter as they dream

Of dancing in the air,

swirling all around

Moving with no care,

before touching ground

The Holidays

    Well like one of my earlier posts I wrote about the reason why I hadn't blogged, same reason here. It's so time consuming to plan, make and buy gifts. I think it's so sad the way the holidays are so commercialized now, prices on everything are higher than ever and people have less money than they did last year. I heard about how the holidays made people depressed and as a child I never understood this. I still don't really, but I comprehend it and it's so sad. The holidays are a time of celebration and still we struggle to celebrate. I have always tried to tell my family life isn't about the material objects in your life it's about the people. I hold everyone I know close even if I haven't seen them since high school (or earlier). I treasure every person and their thoughts. I was on facebook today and a lot of my friends have a lot going on. Some were complaining of the snow, I personally love the snow but I understand their complaint. Some where having more personal problems, I wish I could just invite them over for some coffee and be there for them so they can vent, cry or whatever they need. Some were talking about the milestone's of their babies, I should post more milestones about my own but it's cool to watch these babies about the same age as mine and watching them grow. And then a few were talking about their pregnancies. One at the end literally, and the other at the beginning. I read their posts and feel so much joy for them, I am going to miss that part of my life. As I was reading their posts, I  imagined everyone I know in a room together with me, laughing and happy. I can't imagine how full my heart would feel just to see everyone again. I want to tell my friends and family each on a personal note how much they mean to me and that I love them all dearly. They are the real gifts in my life. Regardless what they believe, how well off they are, or not. No matter what we've been through in the past. I care soo much about them and I want the best for them.

    Take some time to appreciate the people in your life. They are more precious than any gift you'll ever receive.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa
Happy Holidays

Cold baths in the dark

    This post is from another creative writing prompt and I have to write about 12 things to do without electricity. 

Day:
Read
Write
Draw or paint
Knit, crochet or do a craft
Play a board game
Put together a puzzle
Actually go outside
Talk and listen

Night:
Light a fire in the fireplace* (if you have a fireplace)
Snuggle with your family
Watch the stars if it's warm out
Make shadows with your hands and a flash light/ lit candle
Spend the night with family
Spend couple time if kids are asleep or if you don't have any
Talk and listen



    I know there's more than 12 things here and also that I put talk and listen twice but it's because you can do it anytime. When I say anytime I mean it. You can still have electricity and still take the time out of your day to know your family, friends, children, and significant other. So many people have so many distractions through out their day they forget about the people in their lives. When you don't have electricity to power some of those distractions you have the opportunity to know the people in your life and appreciate them as well. I know, I have gone with out electricity sooo many times it's kind of sad. I appreciate the chance I had to talk with my husband about our daily life, or to sit in front of the fire place burning paper with my sister, or taking ice cold baths in the dark.

Take time today to talk and listen.

40 things of November

    This is for a creative writing prompt to  write about 40 things that happened to me in the last month, and then to pick one and write about it. When I first began the list I couldn't think of anything and wondered if I could even think of that many things but as the list grew I realize alot has happened and I had to leave things out.

1. Celebrated my oldest daughters 6th birthday
2. Watched my youngest daughter turn 6 months old
3. Watched my youngest daughter learn how to crawl
4. Watched my oldest daughter read me a book for the first time
5. Saw how happy my oldest son was when he lost another tooth
6. I transferred my kids to a new school
7. Had to buy new school supplies for the second time in the same school year
8. I made deviled eggs for thanksgiving
9. First year I missed thanksgiving with my parents
10. Spent thanksgiving with my in laws
11. Visited my mom in the hospital when she was rushed there for blood clots
12. Worried alot about my mom and my whole family
13. Started playing dibs through Facebook
14. My cat had kittens
15. Saw Breaking Dawn part 1 with mother in law and sister
16. Bought Skyrim and watch father in law and hubby play it nonstop since
17. Play wow every now and then
18. Started playing Castleville on facebook
19. Watched Larry Crowne while trying to help mother in law crochet
20. Bought an iPod
21. Got my laptop to work hopefully not for the last time, and listened to music on it
22. Got drunk, once
23. Felt helpless when my son was so sick
24. Watched alot of Psyche and Merlin
25. Slept more than I wanted to
26. Was so relieved when a certain someone left
27. Started walking with my mother in law
28. Started trying to eat right (most of the time)
29. Have had yogurt for breakfast for the last 5-6 days
30. Cheated on my diet a few times
31. Dyed my hair like 4 times
32. Have been planning Christmas gifts bought or made
33. Have gone shopping with mother in law alot
34. Spent way too much money
35. Finished Amber's Christmas gift
36. Started Crystal's gift
37. Have gone on a few date with hubby
38. Fallen in love with hubby more each day
39. Have been unsuccessfully trying to write hubby a letter every day
40. Started a blog

    I pick #13 to write about. It all started a year or so ago when my sisters were calling dibs on this actor or that like he belonged to them. They'd fight over them. One day they were with me picking up Jason from school and they were arguing over who got who and then I chimed in "I call..." and my head went blank. Who did I want to call dibs on. Don't laugh but this should have been easy for me. For no reason at all the first name that slipped through my lips and blank mind was "...Christian Slater!"
    What??! Was all I thought as we began to play like the game. Why couldn't it have been Johnny Depp, Robert Pattinson or even Heath Ledger. Ever since then it's been an on going battle for men. They could be actors, musicians, some type of performer, a fake character, someone from a different time, some one alive or dead or some one in real life that we knew. I always call Johnny Depp though lol. We figure out a way to share people too. Such as if one of my sisters called Cary Elwes I could still call Westley from the Princess Bride. Hmmm be right back, that's a good call! ;) Anyway, so as this game went on my mother joined in and other sisters of mine joined as well. The other day I was out with my mother in law and I told her about it and we started playing a new game, because you never can remember who you called or who someone else called months ago.  Well, even hours later we couldn't even remember crucial calls. So we decided to make a group page where we'd invite our friends to play with us. We'd keep record of who was called and by whom. At the beginning of every month the dibs is refreshed and if you're quick enough that special guy is yours for a month.

So go ahead and give it a try! 

Who do you dib?

Now the wrapping

    Gifts, gifts, and more gifts. Since last Thursday I have been busy planning, buying and making gifts for my family. I have a large family as you can see. So much money is spent on toys, video games, electronics, cloths etc. But I like to make some of my gifts. It means more to me, maybe not to the receiver. To me it means I'm willing to spend x amount of time on just you. Instead of quick cheap deals off of a walmart shelf. It all started a few years ago I taught myself how to crochet through the help of www.youtube.com. The year after I made three of my sisters ponchos for Christmas. I don't know if they like them or not but I loved making them. I could personalize them as much as I wanted. Id spent countless hours surfing the net for the design that fit the sister, then picking the right yarn and color for them, and then any embellishments that spoke to me. I planned on six ponchos only three got made. The other three were hard for me to figure out since I was still a beginner in a way. Last year while I was pregnant I only made a poncho and hat set for my daughter, and a hat for my two older boys. Last year was hard for me to get up and do anything since  I was so tired and sick from the pregnancy. Now this year, I have been doing the same as two years ago spending sooo many hours looking for the right patterns and picking the right yarns.

I have big plans so cross your fingers that I can make and buy the gifts I hope to.

Happy Holidays everyone and good luck with your gifting.

Gift image credit to - qimono - pixabay.com

Thank you

    When I began this blog, I had hoped to write in it everyday. The last few days I haven't had the chance to because my son has been very sick. He seems better today so hopefully he's getting well.

   Today is Thanksgiving. A day to be thankful for the people, in your life, things you have.
Your life.

   So here I go ...

    I am thankful for my dear husband. You are my strength. You add so much life and spice to my existence. I am truly blessed to have met you. You have shared your awesome family with me and given me such amazing children. I love the life I lead because you are in it. No one could wish for a better man to be their husband. Through thick and thin you are right there with me. Thank you for making life such an adventure and loving me the way you do. I will love you forever.

    I am thankful for all of my children. You are perfect in my eyes even when you act less than perfect. You all are intelligent, beautiful, kind, and wonderful. I thank God to have you as my sons and daughters. It is bittersweet to watch you grow up, but I am grateful to be here to see it. I love you all more than you'll ever realize.






    I am thankful for my first family. My parents for raising me to be the person I am today. Supporting me in every decision good or bad, loving me unconditionally and always being there no matter what. Mom and Dad I love you, thank you.

    I am thankful for my sisters. All different in there own way. All such beautiful women. We grew up together, and turned out so different. Even though some of us are married and moved out I am thankful that you are all so close I can see you when ever I want. We will always be sisters, no matter what we go through, I love you all.

    I am thankful for my in laws. My mothers and father in law for everything you have ever done for us and me. You have been so wonderful. You are all amazing, kind, and loving. Thank you for accepting me into your amazing family. I love you.

    I am thankful for my other in laws. My brothers in law and eventual sister in law. You all are so great. Being an amazing brothers to my husband or being a loving husbands to my sisters, or a beautiful fiancée to my brother in law. Thank you for being apart of my life. I am grateful for my nieces, although your young you're beautiful inside and out. Our lives would never be the same without any of you.

    I am thankful to everyone else. Thankful for everyone who has every been apart of my life, good or bad. My life wouldn't have taken the turns it did, and I would not be who I am today if it wasn't for you. Maybe we still talk, or haven't in years. Maybe we never got along, or were once best friends. Thank you for being apart of my life's journey.

  Thank you God for everything you have given me and still give me everyday that I take for granted. Thank you for my wonderful life.

A feathered Mask

  

  No I have not been slacking this post took me 3 days to write so here it is :)

(I know what story this is but its a different version for a writing prompt)

    As the day began and the line of women grew, the prince had no idea what his true love looked like. All he knew was he fell deeply in love with her the night before. He vowed to find her but all he had was the elegant slipper that fell from her foot as she fled his arms. She never said her name and he never saw her face, hidden behind the mask. Feathers, glitter and sequins hid her from him. He knew they were meant for each other. He proclaimed he would marry whoever would fit the slipper never knowing what could come of it.
    He began fitting the shoe to the feet of the women in the quickly growing line. Word spread throughout the land that anyone who was at the ball the night before  were invited back. No one wanted to miss their chance at marrying the prince. Some feet were too small and some were too big. As the line grew his hopes shrank.
    The women who had the chance to try on the slipper, left disappointed and crying. Finally an average looking woman walked up to try. Holding her breath her foot slowly slipped into the slipper and it fit, perfectly. The prince's heart leaps but only briefly, because the slipper fit some one. He wasn't sure this was the girl he danced with the night before. He had said he would marry whoever fit the shoe, he decided he would keep his word. The women in line behind the girl with the right size foot began to mumble, and stir. The prince had a few of his servants escort the crowd away, some got angry for not getting  a chance while others walked away silently weeping.
    The prince turned to the girl and held her hands in his. He had so many questions flooding his mind. The first one to properly escape his lips was "What is your name miss?"
The woman looked at him through her dull brown eyes, the hair hanging around her face lacked luster as well.

    "My name is Drusilla, my lord." she replied.

    "Drusilla it is then." the prince smiled as he began to question himself and his rash decisions. He kept thinking this isn't the girl from the night before. He wondered of he could keep looking, possibly have the servants bring the other women back. "No" he thought "I am a man of my word and I will marry her."

    Evening crept across the sky as the carriage arrive at the manor. Drusilla swiftly jumped from it before it had even stopped.

    "Mother, mother!!" she shouted running through the massive doors.

    "What is it Drusilla?" her mother, the Baroness, asked as she turned to look at her from her chair in     front of the fire. Her younger sister looked up at her from another seat around the hearth.

    "It's me! He picked me! The slipper fit." she exclaimed unable to contain her excitement.

    "That is wonderful Drusilla but a true lady doesn't run around like a mad person, settle down."
    As Drusilla went to take a seat next to her sister she heard a shuffling behind her and looked but the doorway to the hall was dark and empty, so she turned back to tell her mother every detail.
That night as Drusilla tried to sleep she tossed and turned from the excitement and because she kept hearing an indistinguishable sound haunting her throughout the night. The next morning Drusilla sat with her mother and sister to eat breakfast. It was taking much longer to serve than normal. As breakfast was being placed on the table. Her mother and sister began eating right away. Drusilla, annoyed, asked one of her servants what took them so long.

    "I'm sorry it is only me and Marge preparing breakfast."
    "What?! Where is Cinderella that lazy cow?" said Drusilla with a snide tone to her voice.
    "I'm sorry, madame" the servant girl repeated "She is gone."
    "WHAT???" the Baroness yelled, the sound of her voice booming through the hall, her face     reddening.
    "Cinderella wasn't in her bed this morning." answered the servant girl as she was cowering away from the two angry women.
    Surprisingly the Baroness regained her calm, turned to her daughters and told them to eat. Shocked they did as they were told.
Afraid to speak or move the scared servant girl stood in the shadow of the corner trying to hide and not bring attention to herself.
Without looking up, the Baroness said smoothly "You may go." relieved she swiftly left the room.

    "Mother you are going to punish Cinderella for this when she returns won't you?" asked Drusilla hoping for a yes.

    "No my dear." she simply replied.
    "What?  Why not?" Drusilla asked unbelieving her mother would let her filthy step sister off like that.

    "Don't worry, let her go and be ... one less mouth to feed." she chuckled and began to eat again.
Drusilla smiled briefly at the thought before her mind quickly jumped back to her wedding the next day.

    The day of the wedding was here. Drusilla couldn't believe everything was happening. Many servants put hours into trying to make her look worthy of a prince. But no matter how hard they tried they couldn't change the ugliness she carried inside her. The day progressed. At the request of the prince the glass slipper, that brought them together, was to be placed between his parents the king and queen. It sat upon a ruby velvet pillow for all to see. The wedding began. Drusilla held her breath when the priest asked if anyone objects. Silence and whispers was all she heard. Relieved she began to exhale.

    But only too soon. The chapel doors swung up, "I object," spoke the beautiful woman standing in the doorway. Her blond hair pinned up in curl with such grace, she was dresses in a white glittering gown more elegant than any ever seen. No one seemed to know this woman but all stared in awe at her. Her face was hidden from them by a beautiful mask. She began to walk down the isle. Everyone noticed she was slightly limping. They all looked her up and down to see why.

    The prince's eyes were full and bright. Drusilla looked up at him. He could not take his eyes away from this woman, he knew why she was limping. He quickly glanced to his parents and the glass slipper on the pillow. He rushed from Drusilla's arms to grab the slipper. He ran over to the mysterious woman and knelt down. He smoothly slipped on the glass slipper. It fit, and it matched the slipper on her other foot.
    "NOO!" a hideous  scream escaped Drusilla's lips. "You're mine." she shouted as she ran to the prince.
    "I'm sorry Drusilla, you might have fit the shoe, but you don't fit the missing piece of my heart. You are not the woman I fell in love with."the Prince said.
    "You love me?" the voice of the woman in white asked.
    "Yes, I do," he replied smiling at her.
    "But your highness, you've never seen my face," she said hesitantly 

    "What if I am ugly?" she questioned.
    "Miss I don't need to see your face to know you are a beautiful person." he said as he began to reach around to undo the mask of glitter and feathers he recognized so well from the night he fell in love with her.

    "No, please, don't she pleaded.
 He continued anyway. His hands pulled the mask from her face and the whole of the audience watching gasped.

    "No you troll!" Drusilla screeched.
    "You can't marry her. She's just a filthy servant. My servant in fact!" she yelped turning her nose up at the face she's known most of her life.
    "Cinderella! How dare you?!" the Baroness scolded as she stood from her seat to grab her by the arm.
The prince grabbed the baroness' wrist before she could even lay a finger on Cinderella. Immediately he released her hand back to her, her eyes glaring into him then Cinderella she stepped back.
The prince turns Cinderella's face up to his.
    "Is it true? Are you a servant?" he asked quietly.

    "No, my lord" Cinderella spoke.
Both Drusilla and the Baroness gasp in shock.
    "I am Drusilla's step sister. They have treated me as a slave since my father died."she continued, sadness pulling her eyes down to the ground.

    "You filthy pig." Drusilla shouted "Leave, now!"
Cinderella's eyes began to water and tears streamed down her cheeks. She began to turn to leave when the prince grabbed her by the arms and stared deeply in her eyes.
    "You miss are the most beautiful woman here, anywhere, inside and out. You could never be ugly."
The gorgeous woman lifted her head, and glance around the room. Every one's eyes were on her. No one seemed frightened, or disgusted. Only two sets of eyes differed from the rest. The Baroness' and Drusilla's scowling in anger.
    The prince turned Cinderella's face back to his. "Cinderella, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" the prince proposed.
    "What?" both Drusilla and her mother shouted. "You're supposed to marry me." she angrily demanded.
    "I'm sorry you are not meant for me. You have my apologies." the prince responded.
The Baroness outraged grabbed Drusilla's younger sister and stormed passed the couple glaring at Cinderella. Drusilla quickly followed after, bright red.

    "You still haven't answered me my love." the prince pointed out.
Cinderella gazed up into the princes eyes. 

    "Yes," she said smiling.

    Filled with joy he wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace. Gentle kissed their first kiss then merrily spun.

That day they were married. From that day on they lived happily ever after.

Mask image credit to - anncapictures - pixabay.com

Glass slipper image credit to - pennywithaney - pixabay.com

A few Gemstones of my heart

My family is large, loud and wonderful.

We've had our trials, issues, and problems. Everyone does, but that's what makes families stronger, more alive.    

When I was 14 life started moving faster, boys and friends became focal points and I stopped noticing my sisters as much. It seemed like they grew up faster because I wasn't paying attention to them.

    I was only 14 here. I had no idea what high school and life had in store for me. For the first time in my life I was making decisions on my own. I just started high school, and on the road to find myself. For some people this is easy. They are who they're going to be when they're an adult when they're a child. Not  me. My whole life before I was looking up to my sister Suzy. I wanted to be just like her. Sure I am the oldest, but she was so much cooler than me. Everything about her was, from her music, to her style of cloths, just everything. The way she dressed was so grunge, like 'I don't give a care what you think of me'. I dressed so preppy, always worried what people thought. She was so laid back and easy going. I was such a goody-two-shoed square. She in so many ways was opposite of me. She had dark beautiful hair and I didn't think I could be beautiful unless I was blond. She made friends with boys easily, they liked her. I couldn't make a friend with a boy (until later) unless they wanted to screw me or was gay. All of my friends were bubbly girls at this point in my life. I was listening to Backstreet Boys and Hanson, when she was listening to Matchbox 20 and Third Eye Blind. She was so strong, rebellious, and edgy. I was, well, none of those at that point. It's funny how much we've changed since then. Still so different from her I admire her without wishing to be her.   

    My sister Crystal has grown up into such a strong beautiful woman. She's gone through so  much since this picture. Her and I used to fight worse than cats and dogs. She was a trouble maker. I suppose she didn't get enough attention, from anyone, and had to make everyone see her. She's so different now but she's gone through hell to get where she is today. I admire her strength.

    Melanie. I used to cling to her as if she was all mine. I remember I taught her how to read and write. She is so beautiful and smart. She never caused the kind of trouble us older three caused. She was always reading, learning, and excelling. She's so beautiful, always reminded me of Julia Roberts. Such a strong woman, she has such a road ahead of her.

    Blonde Amber. Only one to keep the natural blond hair. She often reminds me of myself. I am glad she didn't follow in my footsteps. Even though she makes me think of myself as a teenager, Suzy's edginess or Crystal rebelliousness sometimes; she is her own person and always made sure we all knew it. So beautiful, twisted road she forms nothing left unexcited.

    Then Brooklynne and Lisa so young in this photo. I feel so bad saying I had a really hard time connecting with them. It wasn't their fault but mine. I was barely going through puberty when they were born, and trying to find myself as they were growing up. So busy wrapped up in myself I didn't notice these two amazing girls. Something I really regret it. Only the last few years have I barely begun to see or even grasp how beautiful and intelligent they are. Their personalities so unique.

    These are my sisters. They each hold a giant piece of my heart. I love them so much. Since this photo I have grown to accept, respect and admire them. All so smart and beautiful on their own path of life's journey. I think about them everyday. Through thick and thin they are mine.

Do you have brothers or sisters? When was the last time you talked to them or even thought about them? Can you see them for the wonderful individuals they are?

A pair of painted hands

    I was driving home from the kids school yesterday, and a few blocks from the house I saw a man jogging. Nothing was unusual about him, and I don't know him. Still, I watched him as I drove. He was in shorts, even though it's fall and a little chilly out. I assume he was focused on the music in his head playing through the earphones in his ears. I admired him for still jogging and taking care of himself. Admiring his drive. So many people wait until spring to lose the winter weight, but there he was avoiding gaining it. I thought about turning the car around just to high five him. A high five that just says Way to go! Wouldn't it be nice to have a complete stranger notice something you're putting your time and effort into. The recognition would be nice, wouldn't it?
    Of course I didn't, I was afraid of freaking him out. I wish I had though.
I started imagining, what if every person wore a different color paint on the palms of their hands and fingers, imagine possibly a paint that never dries but is always there. What if you simply high fived one person. You affected them in a positive way. Your color is left on them and theirs on you. You could look at your hands at the end of the day, see the affect you have on the people around you, and see the good you do. The more high fives you give the more colors you get and give.

  What if every person could simply high five one other person a day, to have that as a goal.

Just to do one thing positive for someone else.

At the end of the day, how do your hands look?

A beautiful citrine gem

    Six years ago today I was in the hospital. I was sore, and tired. More than tired I was exhausted. I was in labor until 1:17am. I remembered it snowed for only about an hour, I could see it through the window. It stopped when she was born. My baby girl was so beautiful. To my surprise as well, she had red copper hair. I was so happy to finally hold my little blessing. It was so wonderful.
   Since then it has been amazing watching her grow. I have to admit she has been one of my more stubborn children, I suppose it's a good thing though, knowing she holds strong to what she thinks, knows, and believes.
   Today just like every weekday, one hour before we're even supposed to leave for school she starts nagging and asking.
   "Mom are you ready?"
   "Mom, did you forget I have school today?"
   "Is it time?"
For a whole hour before we leave she constantly asks, me these questions.Always pumped up with energy when we do leave.
  She was so excited today to take her cupcakes, to share with her classmates. I'm so glad I haven't had to fight with her about going to school yet.
As she stood there in line to go into school, I watched her and thought about the last six years. She's grown up so much. It never is fair how fast they grow up.
   I watched her from my place with the parents. I remember when she started kindergarten almost three months ago. She was so happy to start. It was hard for me to realize she's growing up. I admit I did cry a little, proud but very sad.
  She's such a happy little girl, so full of energy and life. The energy she got from her father. She is shy at first, she got that from me, but she is so friendly.

So my dear baby girl

Happy Birthday I Love You!

One Valentine

    It might simply be printed paper to some but there is a significance to this small rectangle hanging on my wall. I hadn't felt so beautiful before or, so far, after that night. My hair was a beautiful shade of bright red, short and spiked, but stylish. My nails were done. I was dressed in a gorgeous glitter red cocktail dress, black heels, a nice black dress jacket, and my tan winter jacket over everything. I had glitter all over me. I was about 6 months pregnant but I felt ravishing. I felt my husband only had eyes for me. That no one on earth even existed. My husband was so clean cut, with his gelled hair and a fresh shave. So handsome, and in my eyes perfect.
   The weather was quit cold. There was snow on the ground and the air was crisp. The black night sky and twinkling stars romanticized and enhanced every moment. We had gone out with my wonderful sister and her husband to see a movie. Sad to say I dwelt so much on my photos this whole time, I cannot remember what movie we saw.
  Sitting in the car my sister and I decided to use my camera to take pictures of each other with our husbands. Being a mom I don't get very many opportunities to be in front of the camera instead of behind. A few shots were taken with our faces side by side. We decided to kiss for one of the pictures. It might sound silly, but I never kissed in front of a camera, especially on purpose. It was almost like a first kiss. I was so full of nerves and slightly embarrassed. To this day I will never forget my sweet memory on the small rectangle piece of printed paper on my wall.

My Valentine.

The begining of my road

    I have been wondering where I begin. Not the beginning of my life, not when I was born, but where did the person I am today begin? I believe I started when I was 17 years old. I became a single mother and any adolescent immature choices and actions that most teenagers have had to leave. I had a new life in my hands and I had the responsibility to do everything in my power, even beyond my power to give this little person everything they ever deserved and wanted. It still took me a while to grow up. But never did a moment pass where I ever regretted him, or looked back and wish I had changed my decision. My son is a part of me. I don't know where I would be today without him. My life would not be the life it is without him.  I don't know if I'd be with my most wonderful husband, my soul mate, if I hadn't had him. I don't know what road my life would have taken. I wouldn't have any of my other four beautiful children. I'd be someone completely different, married (possibly) to someone else, with other wonderful kids, living a different life, making different choices based off of different beliefs... I don't even think I'd be as open minded as I am now.  I don't know who I would be, where I'd be, what kind of person if it weren't for my beautiful blue eyed son. He is a blessing. If only all of the mothers and fathers out there could see their children as blessings. That is exactly what they are. Every person is a blessing.

 Think about it,  you are a blessing, a miracle.
Even if no one has ever said it to you, you are.

Believe it.

The begining of my journey.

A long road ahead

    Why did  I start this blog? Was it for readers or for myself? I hope a little of both. I am a mother of five beautiful kids, and wife to a wonderful man. I have six amazing sisters, inspiring parents, and many loving in laws. I love to write. I believe I'm starting this blog to help me in my writing to challenge myself to write more often and about different things in different ways. Maybe it will help me in other ways too, I don't know. I may or may not write everyday for writing or just to write because of my day. I'm giving myself 365 days, 1 year to attempt to write everyday, good or bad whatevers is to be said. I welcome comments, constructive criticism and ideas. Welcome to my life, my family, my world.