Be Genuine

Positive People vs. Toxic Positivity: What’s the Difference?

What is the difference between positive people and toxic positive people. How do you tell the difference. How can you be more genuine.

    For many years now I have strived to be a positive happy person.  I want to be the light. I aim to bring smiles and relief to the people I know and meet. Even in my journey of choosing optimism, positivity and hope... I'm still human. Sometimes I am dark, negative and hopeless. I am just more conscious now of what thoughts I'm thinking, what emotions I am allowing and are flowing, and how I'm showing up in the world. 

    I continue to try to be positive and light, especially after going through some very hard times a few years ago. I decided to hold my head high, show up and be light and love for anyone. Especially anyone who is lost and lonely because I know how awful it feels. I believe the best way to show love, light and positivity is to hold space for the people in our lives and the people we meet. Holding space means allowing the person to exist in the state that they are experiencing without forcing an overbearing concept of always happy, always positive.

    

What Are Positive People?

Genuinely positive people are grounded, emotionally honest, and resilient. Their positivity comes from a place of self-awareness and hope. They:

• Acknowledge hard feelings but don’t dwell in them. Be mindful.

• Encourage others without dismissing their pain. Listen with open ears and open mind.

• Radiate calm energy and be empathetic.

• Uplift without overwhelming. Showing kindness through understanding.

• Holding space for someone to experience what they are without enforcing and unrealistic idea of happiness and positivity.

    True Positivity looks grounded in reality and emotional awareness. Encourages without pressuring. Holds space for pain and hope. Respects all emotions as valid.

What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is the overuse or forced application of “positive thinking” in a way that invalidates, ignores, or silences real emotions. People expressing toxic positivity might:

• Dismiss your feelings ("Just be happy! Think happy thoughts!")

• Shame vulnerability ("Don’t be negative.")

• Avoid hard conversations

• Use positivity as a mask or escape

What Toxic Positivity Sounds Like “Good vibes only!” “Everything happens for a reason. “Stop being negative — just smile!” Although often well-meaning, they're emotionally bypassing.

How to Be Genuinely Positive

• Listen with empathy, not solutions

• Offer presence over platitudes

• Validate before you uplift

• Share stories of resilience — not denial

    It's important to be aware of how we show up in the world and how it affects those around us. Showing kindness and empathy over the concept of always positive, happy and good.

How to Spot the Difference

Situation	Positive People	Toxic Positivity
Someone shares a struggle	“That sounds really tough. I'm here for you.”	“Don’t think about it — just stay positive!”
Someone expresses sadness or stress	“It’s okay to feel that way. What do you need right now?”	“There’s no reason to be upset. Look on the bright side!”
Wanting to be heard	Listens without interrupting or fixing	Changes the subject or tells you to “cheer up”
Needing emotional support	Offers empathy and encouragement	Minimizes or avoids uncomfortable emotions
General energy	Calm, authentic, reassuring	Overly upbeat, dismissive, emotionally disconnected

Positivity should feel safe and supportive, not forced or shaming.

 

How you can you can be more present, genuine and authentic when dealing with someone.

Step 1: Pause and Breathe

Before responding, take a breath and ask

• Am I listening or trying to fix?

• Does this person need comfort, space, or feedback?”

Step 2: Recognize Emotions

What I Notice	What It Might Mean	What I Can Say/Do
Someone seems quiet or flat	They may feel overwhelmed	You seem off, want to talk about it?
They're venting or emotional	They're processing something big	“I hear you. That sounds so heavy.”
They’re asking for advice	They want solutions or perspective	"Do you want ideas, or just want me to listen?”
I feel the urge  to cheer them up	I might be uncomfortable with their pain	“This is hard and I’m right here.”

Step 3: Practice Grounded Support

Instead of…	Try Saying…
“It’s not that bad!”	“That sounds really hard.”
“Stay positive!”	“I believe in your strength.”
“You shouldn’t feel that way.”	“It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.”
“At least it’s not worse.”	“I can imagine how tough that must be.”

    Have you ever experienced toxic positivity? Have you been blessed with grace to be heard and seen about the struggles you've faced? Are you a beacon of real, honest support for the people in your life? Share your experience or mention a friend who embodies genuine positivity.

"Empathy begins with understanding life from another person's perspective. Nobody has an objective experience of reality. It's all through our own individual prisms."

-Sterling K. Brown

    Positivity should be empowering, not silencing. When we allow space for both the person and their situation, we create room for healing, connection, and growth. Be mindful and show up for yourself and the people in your life. Be a beacon of light and positivity, be genuine about it. Hold space for the emotions and situations. Have courage to see and handle the difficulties in life. Be you and be true.

test