Look up and keep moving forward

The Link Between Positivity and Success

    Have you ever noticed when you're walking that your feet tend to go where your eyes are looking? It's the same with your mental focus and state of mind. When you see someone successful who exudes confidence. They usually have a positive mindset, and they got their success with that mindset. It's the same as you might meet or know people in your life who don't do anything but complain. They can only see the negative things in their life. Every time you see them or talk to them more negative things are happening to them. You are a master manifester, even if you don't believe in manifestation. Your thoughts, beliefs and mindset shape the life around you.

    The link between positivity and success is in plain sight in everyday life. If you are at the base of a mountain and you want to climb it but you keep looking down at your feet instead of up at your goal, you won't make it very far. If you stand there thinking you can't do it, you won't do it. Success is a journey, there are ups and downs but people who succeed in achieving their goals and dreams are the ones who don't let the bumps in the road, obstacles or even their own doubts and fears stop them,

    Many if not all of your favorite authors, actors and musicians pushed through obstacles, and rejections to keep moving forward, even through their own doubts and or fears. If they stopped and believed they couldn't do something they wouldn't be who they are today.

Your life goes where your mind is set.

    Having a positive mindset isn't shallow always happy blind to the whole of reality. Choosing positivity is acknowledging the negatives and continuing on the journey forward either through the doubt and fear, or resetting the path around an obstacle.

    Being positive matters in everyday life as much as it does when you're striving for a goal. If you are negative and believe you can't do something then you definitely cannot do it. If you stay positive you have the mental capacity to overcome obstacles, road blocks, doubt and fear. Being positive shifts, your perspective, improves your relationships, fuels your resilience, and can boost your productivity.

Choosing positivity ...

Shifts Perspective

• A positive outlook helps you see opportunities where others see obstacles.

• It encourages problem-solving and innovation instead of getting stuck in setbacks.

• Example: Entrepreneurs who focus on solutions instead of failures are more likely to bounce back and grow.

Improves Relationships

• People naturally gravitate toward positive individuals.

• Strong, supportive networks often open doors to opportunities.

• Collaboration becomes easier when you’re uplifting instead of draining.

Fuels Resilience

• Success isn’t about never failing, it’s about bouncing back.

• A positive mindset turns “I can’t do this” into “I’ll try a different way.”

• Mindset determines persistence, and persistence often determines success.

Boosts Productivity

• Stress and negativity drain energy and focus.

• Optimism increases motivation and helps sustain momentum.

• Small shifts like starting your day with gratitude can enhance focus and performance.

Whenever a doubt, fear, obstacles or rejection stands in your way for achieving your dream or goal

• Re-center and ground yourself.

• Remind yourself of your goal.

• Reroute you path forward.

    As someone with so much ambition and large dreams I speak from my experience that positivity has been the number one thing to get me to where I am. I may not be where I aim to be yet but I'm on the way. If not for choosing positivity I would have given up on my goals long ago. Thrown out my note books full of book ideas, all of my art supplies. I would have quit making videos. I wouldn't be me.

"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right."

-Henry Ford 

    So I just want to remind you that success is not just about skill or strategy, it’s about mindset and determination. The more positivity you cultivate, the more resilient, creative, and connected you become. Keep moving forward

Get a free Positivity Checklist for Success here!

Bring You Back to the Now

Digital Detoxing

Bring You Back to the Now

    I mentioned a few post back, I did a digital detox. I stepped away from social media for a few months. In that time I found myself with more time, less anxiety, more power over my own emotions and reactions, among other benefits.
    Between January and April this year I took a break from social media. I deleted my Facebook, messenger and Instagram. I didn't open Tiktok. I only used Pinterest and Youtube for knowledge and inspiration. 

     It was hard at first as does breaking any habit. I like so many people look at the influencers on their screen as friends in life. Quitting social media felt like I had moved away from people I'd seen everyday and it felt like I wouldn't see them ever again. It was sad and heavy. I lost the biggest source of contact and communication with my own family and friends. I felt so isolated and disconnected. Which was exactly what I needed.

    What I needed to find myself. Find who I am, figure out how I really feel about things in life, my own thoughts and opinions. To realize I was accepting other peoples ideas and beliefs as my own and I couldn't see it until I took a step back.

    Stepping back from social media also opened up my day. No more doom scrolling or being attached to my phone 24/7. I was a slave to watching my favorite creators, responding to comments, making and posting videos, etc. Not anymore. My daily anxiety lessened so much. I have so much less daily guilt and self shaming. I found myself having time to do the things I always gave myself crap for not making time for, like writing my book or drawing and painting. I have been reading more. I do have a full and complex life but it feels easy and calmer. I have managed to find myself again, and do things I'd want to do. 

What is digital detoxing? 

    It is intentionally taking a break from television, computers, smartphones and social media to reduce stress and anxiety, restore presence of mind, and reconnect with yourself and the world around you. It’s about creating healthy boundaries so tech serves you instead of draining your time, energy, and focus.

Why should you do a digital detox?

    Spending too much time plugged in either through the television, computer, tablet or cell phone can have severely negative affects on your physical and mental health.

Signs You Might Need a Digital Detox

• You feel anxious when you’re away from your phone.

• You lose track of time while scrolling.

• Your screen time is crowding out hobbies, sleep, or relationships.

• You feel more distracted and less present.

Benefits of doing a digital detox

Reduced Stress and Anxiety:
    Spending excessive time on social media and constant connectivity can contribute to stress and anxiety. A digital detox can help lower stress levels by reducing the constant stream of notifications, comparisons, and negativity often found online.

Improved Sleep:
    Blue light emitted from electronic devices can interfere with melatonin production, making it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep. A digital detox, particularly limiting screen time before bed, can improve sleep quality and duration.

Enhanced Focus and Productivity:
    By reducing distractions from notifications and social media, a digital detox can help improve focus and concentration, leading to increased productivity in work and other tasks.

Stronger Relationships:
    Disconnecting from devices can encourage more meaningful interactions with loved ones and improve communication skills, fostering stronger relationships. 

More Time for Hobbies and Interests:
    A digital detox can free up time that was previously spent on screens, allowing individuals to engage in hobbies, spend time in nature, exercise, or pursue other activities they enjoy.

Increased Self-Awareness:
    By disconnecting from the constant stream of information and social comparison, individuals can become more aware of their thoughts, feelings, and needs, promoting self-reflection and personal growth.

Better Mental Clarity:
    A digital detox can lead to a sense of mental clarity and reduced mental clutter, allowing for more present-moment awareness and appreciation of experiences. 

Start  with a Gentle Digital Detox

• Set “no-phone zones” (bedroom, dinner table).

• Schedule “tech-free hours” each day.

• Replace screen time with mindful alternatives (reading, journaling, nature walks).

• Turn off non-essential notifications.

• Try a Social Media Day off

I encourage anyone and everyone to try even just a 24 hour detox. Notice what changes in your life, in your mind and how you feel.

“The digital world sells you infinite freedom, but true freedom lies in knowing when to log off, walk outside, and plant something real.”

― Lawrence Nault

Closing: Wrap up with a gentle takeaway and encouragement.

Try this for yourself. Disconnect from the narrative of other people, their thought, their beliefs, and their drama. Life is meant to be lived. Not idly scrolled through. Disconnect. 

Get your Free Digital Detox Checklist download here!

Be Genuine

Positive People vs. Toxic Positivity: What’s the Difference?

What is the difference between positive people and toxic positive people. How do you tell the difference. How can you be more genuine.

    For many years now I have strived to be a positive happy person.  I want to be the light. I aim to bring smiles and relief to the people I know and meet. Even in my journey of choosing optimism, positivity and hope... I'm still human. Sometimes I am dark, negative and hopeless. I am just more conscious now of what thoughts I'm thinking, what emotions I am allowing and are flowing, and how I'm showing up in the world. 

    I continue to try to be positive and light, especially after going through some very hard times a few years ago. I decided to hold my head high, show up and be light and love for anyone. Especially anyone who is lost and lonely because I know how awful it feels. I believe the best way to show love, light and positivity is to hold space for the people in our lives and the people we meet. Holding space means allowing the person to exist in the state that they are experiencing without forcing an overbearing concept of always happy, always positive.

    

What Are Positive People?

Genuinely positive people are grounded, emotionally honest, and resilient. Their positivity comes from a place of self-awareness and hope. They:

• Acknowledge hard feelings but don’t dwell in them. Be mindful.

• Encourage others without dismissing their pain. Listen with open ears and open mind.

• Radiate calm energy and be empathetic.

• Uplift without overwhelming. Showing kindness through understanding.

• Holding space for someone to experience what they are without enforcing and unrealistic idea of happiness and positivity.

    True Positivity looks grounded in reality and emotional awareness. Encourages without pressuring. Holds space for pain and hope. Respects all emotions as valid.

What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is the overuse or forced application of “positive thinking” in a way that invalidates, ignores, or silences real emotions. People expressing toxic positivity might:

• Dismiss your feelings ("Just be happy! Think happy thoughts!")

• Shame vulnerability ("Don’t be negative.")

• Avoid hard conversations

• Use positivity as a mask or escape

What Toxic Positivity Sounds Like “Good vibes only!” “Everything happens for a reason. “Stop being negative — just smile!” Although often well-meaning, they're emotionally bypassing.

How to Be Genuinely Positive

• Listen with empathy, not solutions

• Offer presence over platitudes

• Validate before you uplift

• Share stories of resilience — not denial

    It's important to be aware of how we show up in the world and how it affects those around us. Showing kindness and empathy over the concept of always positive, happy and good.

How to Spot the Difference

Situation	Positive People	Toxic Positivity
Someone shares a struggle	“That sounds really tough. I'm here for you.”	“Don’t think about it — just stay positive!”
Someone expresses sadness or stress	“It’s okay to feel that way. What do you need right now?”	“There’s no reason to be upset. Look on the bright side!”
Wanting to be heard	Listens without interrupting or fixing	Changes the subject or tells you to “cheer up”
Needing emotional support	Offers empathy and encouragement	Minimizes or avoids uncomfortable emotions
General energy	Calm, authentic, reassuring	Overly upbeat, dismissive, emotionally disconnected

Positivity should feel safe and supportive, not forced or shaming.

 

How you can you can be more present, genuine and authentic when dealing with someone.

Step 1: Pause and Breathe

Before responding, take a breath and ask

• Am I listening or trying to fix?

• Does this person need comfort, space, or feedback?”

Step 2: Recognize Emotions

What I Notice	What It Might Mean	What I Can Say/Do
Someone seems quiet or flat	They may feel overwhelmed	You seem off, want to talk about it?
They're venting or emotional	They're processing something big	“I hear you. That sounds so heavy.”
They’re asking for advice	They want solutions or perspective	"Do you want ideas, or just want me to listen?”
I feel the urge  to cheer them up	I might be uncomfortable with their pain	“This is hard and I’m right here.”

Step 3: Practice Grounded Support

Instead of…	Try Saying…
“It’s not that bad!”	“That sounds really hard.”
“Stay positive!”	“I believe in your strength.”
“You shouldn’t feel that way.”	“It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.”
“At least it’s not worse.”	“I can imagine how tough that must be.”

    Have you ever experienced toxic positivity? Have you been blessed with grace to be heard and seen about the struggles you've faced? Are you a beacon of real, honest support for the people in your life? Share your experience or mention a friend who embodies genuine positivity.

"Empathy begins with understanding life from another person's perspective. Nobody has an objective experience of reality. It's all through our own individual prisms."

-Sterling K. Brown

    Positivity should be empowering, not silencing. When we allow space for both the person and their situation, we create room for healing, connection, and growth. Be mindful and show up for yourself and the people in your life. Be a beacon of light and positivity, be genuine about it. Hold space for the emotions and situations. Have courage to see and handle the difficulties in life. Be you and be true.

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Stay Present

Grounding Techniques for Staying Present

Why grounding helps and how to do it

    Life in today's society if full of demands and stresses that are unnatural to our psyche that causes our body's natural responses to be  unnecessarily triggered. Responses which was our body's necessary defense system in ancient times to protect us from disease, outcast, being eaten or conquered. Now, fight, flight, freeze, fawn etc. could be triggered from a minor embarrassment in public, to a disagreement with a friend or family member, to fear mongering on social and mainstream media. Our nervous systems are always in over drive, our cortisol levels are overly elevated. 

    The stress of living in these modern days has our brains and nervous system acting like we are constantly on the verge of : 

• Social out cast, which in old times would usually mean starvation and death... but being socially awkward will not cause you starvation and death
• Having someone close see the world differently from yourself feels like the end of the world or a betrayal, in past times it was normal for clans and tribes to think alike and believe alike to maintain order and security... but the world is so much fuller now and it's actually an invitation to be open minded, trusting and having the ability to respect others for their differences.
• That you are always in danger of the world ending is like you are being hunted by a lion, tiger or bear that it's just around the corner, in ancient times it was a definite possibility... the world is still turning like it has been your whole life and will continue to.

    Living in constant stress has a  negative impact on your mental and physical health and it is important to learn how to deal with stress and regulate your nervous system. One way to do this is by grounding.

What is Grounding?

    Grounding involves physically connecting with the Earth, typically by walking barefoot on natural surfaces like grass, sand, or dirt. The Earth has a natural electrical charge, and making contact with it can transfer this energy to the body. This is done in the belief that the Earth's energy can help balance the body's electrical system and promote overall well-being. Also being mindful in the moment bringing you back into the present moment, defusing the fight or flight triggers from the current situation or just everyday stress.

    Why is grounding important?  It helps relieve stress in our body, calming our nervous system and resetting and rebalancing your body to a natural neutral state.

Potential Benefits of Grounding:

    Stress Reduction: Grounding is thought to help dissipate stress, leading to relaxation.

    Improved Mood: Connecting with the Earth's energy is believed to restore balance and harmony, improving mood and reducing feelings of anxiety. Grounding can serve as a distraction from negative emotions or thoughts, and it can also help regulate the nervous system, leading to an improved mood. 

    Reduced Inflammation: Grounding may help reduce inflammation by signaling the body to enter a "rest and repair" state, potentially aiding in pain relief and recovery. 

    Better Sleep: Some people believe that grounding can improve sleep quality by regulating the body's natural rhythms and promoting relaxation. Resetting the circadian rhythm.

    Improved Heart Health: Studies suggest that grounding may improve blood flow and heart health by reducing blood viscosity and clumping, making it easier for the heart to pump blood. 

    Pain Relief: Grounding may help reduce pain by reducing inflammation and promoting the body's natural healing processes. Getting your body out of fight or flight from stress and anxiety can help put the body into the relaxed and healing state.

    Improved Immune System and Cortisol Imbalances: Grounding may contribute to a more balanced and efficient immune system, potentially by reducing inflammation and promoting overall well-being. It may also help balance cortisol levels, the body's stress hormone, potentially alleviating the negative effects of stress on the body. By relieve stress and resetting the nervous system the mind and body are no longer searching for an outside threat and can calm and focus on keeping the body healthy and protected from threats to the immune system.

    5 techniques of Grounding

• Sit or stand barefoot on grass to help center yourself. 

• Breathing exercises such as 4-7-8 or 4-hold-4 where you breathe in for 4 seconds, hold, the release for 4 seconds l to help you relax.

• 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique where you identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can heat, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. 

• Body sensation grounding technique where you pay attention to each of you body parts to identify areas of tension or relaxation. Kind of like a mental body scan. I started doing this when I was about 10 years old, it's always helped me, especially when trying to fall asleep or meditate and the mental noise was too loud.

• Visualize grounding. With your eyes close imagine your feet rooting to the earth. Like tree roots for stability and connection.

• Use the elements 

Fire : Light a candle, campfire, fireplace. (Be responsible with fire)

Wind : Breathing , standing in the breeze

Water : Shower, bathe, a nice cup of tea

Earth : Walk barefoot on the earth, hold a crystal

    Hold space and grace for yourself. You are human. It's normal to have stress and anxiety in current society. Don't be mean to yourself or anyone else for having self preservation triggers to non- life threatening situations. 

    Anytime you feel anxious, stressed, be mindful of your surroundings and take your mental and physical health in hand. Ground yourself in the moment.

    Remember relaxation is not laziness. Recovery is not laziness. You need to take care of yourself everyday. At the end of the day remember to ground yourself, be mindful of your well being, shake off any minor stresses you may still be holding onto from your day. Allow yourself to regulate so you can recover and heal.

    Grounding has helped me so much since I learned about it 5 years ago. Anytime I find stress of life too much or a turmoil too big to hold, I step barefoot into soft grass, breath in, gaze into the sky, and remember I am safe, and think everything is going to be ok.

Add a quote, mindfulness exercise, or journaling question.

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.

~William James

    So in your daily life when confronted with stress, anxiety, and confrontation, ground yourself. Give yourself the gift of the moment to be calm, to relax, to be safe. At the end of your life remember to discharge unnecessary stress energy from the day, and take care of yourself.