I miss

    I do love the snow. I'm excited for the forecast of a blizzard. Yet I really miss the rain. I miss the feel of it, the smell and the sight of it. I miss the rain drops falling to earth, and bouncing off of me. I miss the warm light showers to the cold painful ones that sting. I miss the smells of freshness and life. It's like mother earth wipes the slate clean to begin again. I miss the chance of doom written in the clouds. Their many shades of gray swirling together. Rolling across the skies like an avalanche no one can escape. I miss the flashes of light from the bolts reaching through the heavens. Resembling branches and roots of a tree growing further outwards from the base. The boom of thunder that echos through the land, shaking the earth. The thrill from the sound. I miss the uncertainty of the possibility of tornadoes and the adrenaline rushed threat of them. I really do miss the rain.

15 years

Prompt #21 Write a letter to the 10-year old child you had been.

Dear 10-year old me,
    What will happen in the next 15 years. Mom has two more daughters, these sisters are hard for you to connect with but you will try. You will go back to school and make many friends, (and enemies without even trying.) Some will stay, some will go, some will break your heart and they will never know. Some you will consider your best friend and they won't think the same way. You will have many, many friends put boyfriends and girlfriends before your friendship. But you will do the same when you have a boyfriend. You will be kissed before your married, you will have a baby before then too. You will cause so much mischief, and not realize what you've put your family through (until you're older). You will fall in love a lot, only a few of those boys will make you cry. Expect one of those boys to leave and never look back and expect the other to always be there as your friend. High school will take you in many different ways. You will constantly change who you are, trying to find yourself. You will cut all of your hair off and dye it every color, changing it ever two weeks. You will pierce your lip when a bunch of goofy teenage boys are playing outside your bedroom window. You will listen to Hanson and Backstreet Boys in middle school and then discover Blink 182. You will play broom hockey once, a stranger will buy you a pet mouse. You will love going to the army surplus store. You don't finish high school, but you really really wanted to, something you'll never get over. When you have your first baby you will have a son first. Even though you think you will only have daughters.

    One day you will see a boy playing in the courtyard of your high school. All the other girls will google over him too. You will walk a different way to the bus each day from then on just to watch him playing football with his friends. You will have a crush on him until your life ends (maybe even after). He will be your knight in shining armor, he will be your prince charming. He will sweep you off your feet, you will get married, and make four more beautiful babies. Life will be hard, but they're more than worth it and even in you darkest times you are not alone.

Love,

  Me

War

    All day today I have been busy doing daily things, and even though I've been doing other things I have been trying to think about what to write about. That's why the post  is so late today. I was thinking though about all of my own personal wars with myself. I want to eat what everyone else is eating but I don't want to gain my lost weight back, I want to play WoW but I don't know if I have better things to do. All day without realizing it, and probably everyday before too, I war over this and that. Don't buy the eclairs buy something healthier. Don't drink the soda, have water. Don't hate on myself as much as I do. I need to work on Christmas gifts instead of gaming....visa versa and the list goes on. Trying to figure out what to do with  every decision I have to make. I wonder then if world  peace is even fathomable because people are always at war with some one even if it's just with themselves. Is it even possible for every person to be accepting of every person and everything about each person? I think the wars we wage with ourselves are on some levels so much deeper than the tiffs we have with the people around us. Every person struggles with something, some how, at all times.Warring with yourself is more difficult than other confrontations. When you have something happen between yourself and someone else you have your side and that's all you need, and you can stick strong. You know your side, and your story. When you fight with yourself you have all stories, and all reasons, and finding the "right" thing for yourself is harder to decide. For some people decisions are much easier and they do whatever they think the moment they think it, I can't do that. Everything has a consequence, most times the consequences seem like rewards at first and the some rewards seem like consequences. Eating healthier while everyone else eats "normal" food feels like a consequence but it will reward me with a healthier body and hopefully make it easier to lose my weight. Playing video games all day feels like a reward but in turn has consequences. House is a mess, laundry not done, dishes stacked up, kids are smelly, and hubby is hungry. Every day you win some, every day you lose some, it's all give and take. 

Let the battle continue.

Let it snow

The snow slowly dances in the air,

as it falls slowly to the ground

Every flake moves with no care,

swirling all around

White blankets the world,

the flakes make themselves known

The puffs are twirled,

when the winter wind is blown

As each crystal looks,

trying to finding a place to set

Landing quietly in nooks, 

without seeming a threat

Once they find their place,

anywhere it seems

They shimmer there with grace,

and glitter as they dream

Of dancing in the air,

swirling all around

Moving with no care,

before touching ground

The Holidays

    Well like one of my earlier posts I wrote about the reason why I hadn't blogged, same reason here. It's so time consuming to plan, make and buy gifts. I think it's so sad the way the holidays are so commercialized now, prices on everything are higher than ever and people have less money than they did last year. I heard about how the holidays made people depressed and as a child I never understood this. I still don't really, but I comprehend it and it's so sad. The holidays are a time of celebration and still we struggle to celebrate. I have always tried to tell my family life isn't about the material objects in your life it's about the people. I hold everyone I know close even if I haven't seen them since high school (or earlier). I treasure every person and their thoughts. I was on facebook today and a lot of my friends have a lot going on. Some were complaining of the snow, I personally love the snow but I understand their complaint. Some where having more personal problems, I wish I could just invite them over for some coffee and be there for them so they can vent, cry or whatever they need. Some were talking about the milestone's of their babies, I should post more milestones about my own but it's cool to watch these babies about the same age as mine and watching them grow. And then a few were talking about their pregnancies. One at the end literally, and the other at the beginning. I read their posts and feel so much joy for them, I am going to miss that part of my life. As I was reading their posts, I  imagined everyone I know in a room together with me, laughing and happy. I can't imagine how full my heart would feel just to see everyone again. I want to tell my friends and family each on a personal note how much they mean to me and that I love them all dearly. They are the real gifts in my life. Regardless what they believe, how well off they are, or not. No matter what we've been through in the past. I care soo much about them and I want the best for them.

    Take some time to appreciate the people in your life. They are more precious than any gift you'll ever receive.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa
Happy Holidays

Cold baths in the dark

    This post is from another creative writing prompt and I have to write about 12 things to do without electricity. 

Day:
Read
Write
Draw or paint
Knit, crochet or do a craft
Play a board game
Put together a puzzle
Actually go outside
Talk and listen

Night:
Light a fire in the fireplace* (if you have a fireplace)
Snuggle with your family
Watch the stars if it's warm out
Make shadows with your hands and a flash light/ lit candle
Spend the night with family
Spend couple time if kids are asleep or if you don't have any
Talk and listen



    I know there's more than 12 things here and also that I put talk and listen twice but it's because you can do it anytime. When I say anytime I mean it. You can still have electricity and still take the time out of your day to know your family, friends, children, and significant other. So many people have so many distractions through out their day they forget about the people in their lives. When you don't have electricity to power some of those distractions you have the opportunity to know the people in your life and appreciate them as well. I know, I have gone with out electricity sooo many times it's kind of sad. I appreciate the chance I had to talk with my husband about our daily life, or to sit in front of the fire place burning paper with my sister, or taking ice cold baths in the dark.

Take time today to talk and listen.