Cultivating Patience Through Presence

Cultivating Patience Through Presence

    I can't speak for all, but I'm sure most people can relate. As a mom of many I often find myself busy. The busier I am, the more rushed I feel, the less patience for things or people I have. The more I find myself focusing on the have to's, and the less I am aware of the right now. The more I am stressed the more likely I am to not have patience with people, or things. Taking time to learn about and practice mindfulness has helped me create and grow my ability for patience.

    An analogy I think of when I look at the times I am over extending myself, pushing busyness, feeling rushed, pulled in a million directions, or stuck in the past, it is like I am not only trying to make and eat todays meals but yesterdays and tomorrows as well.

    When we are not being present we are either dwelling in our past or anticipating tomorrow. When you take on too many tasks, thoughts and emotions, you lose your ability to handle the now.  As many parents know when you are overstimulated or stressed by life the people who make us snap are usually our kids, significant others and loved ones, if not the innocent bystanders on the road or in the store. When you allow yourself to put down the thoughts, emotions and stresses from yesterday and tomorrow, live in the now. Life feels a lot more livable and patience is much easily learned.

    It matters not only for your person and professional relationships to have mindfulness and patience but also for your own mental health

Some tools for mindfulness and presence

Meditation

Grounding

Affirmations

Quick mindfulness exercises 

Breath work

Meditation

Choosing to meditate in the morning, evening or both for a few minutes, can set your mode for the day, release the days stresses and allow you to process and let them go.

Grounding

Grounding (earthing) is easy and simple stand barefoot in a lawn, or barefoot touching the earth for 10-20 minutes a day. It helps bring you back to where you are, when you are. It helps also by aligning your biological clock with the Earth's natural electrical and magnetic fields, resetting your circadian rhythm.

Affirmations

Affirmations help you choose where your thoughts are focused 

The 5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Method

 Identify:

• 5 things you can see
• 4 things you can physically feel 
• 3 things you can hear
• 2 things you can smell 
• 1 thing you can taste 

Box Breathing: 

Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold for 4 seconds. Repeat 3-4 times.

These exercises help bring you out of past/future thinking and into the now. When you are in the now it is easier to have calm and patience.

    I have found in being present and mindful, putting down yesterdays sorrows and tomorrows worries, experiencing the now is a gift. By not being stressed out by things outside of my control. I have the ability to maintain patience when things are thrown my way. Whether its a temperamental teen, sick kid, bad driver or unexpected bill. It's not too much to handle when you are only handling today.

Mindfulness is about love and loving life. When you cultivate this love, it gives you clarity and compassion for life, and your actions happen in accordance with that.

-Jon Kabat-Zinn

    I encourage you to put down yesterday and tomorrow. Just sit with and enjoy the now you are living in. You cannot erase yesterdays pain, worrying about tomorrow won't prevent negative things from happening. Don't carry anything but today. Have the mind to have patience for the people you love, the world around you and most important of all, yourself. 

All you really have is now.

Photo credit : CreativeCanvasShop - Pixabay.com

Meditation Myths and What Really Matters

Meditation Myths and What Really Matters

    I began meditating in 2019. I was working full time over nights and my life was quite difficult. So I turned inwards. I have gone through many phases and theories of what meditation is, what is isn't and how to do it "correctly". This field of interest had boomed over the last 5-6 years. Most likely from people searching for inner peace in a world full of chaos. I wanted to share with you some of the myths I have succumbed to and the truths about meditation I have discovered on my way.

    If you are anything like me, you have looked into meditation. Sometimes the idea of it is overwhelming. Taking time to be still in a world that is always demanding every second. Trying to find silence when there is noise coming at you from all angles. Trying to force inner peace when everything around seems to be on fire.

    Meditation is often viewed as a way to regulate your nervous system and bring inner peace by calming the mind but in exchange for long meditation sessions, silence (inner and outer), and focused effort to achieve your desired effects. But these are myths

It's important to realize what meditation really is, how it works and how you can make it work for you.

Myth: You must clear your mind. 

-In reality, thoughts are natural; meditation is about noticing them without getting caught up in them.

Myth: You have to sit on the floor cross-legged. 

-You can sit in a chair, on a couch, or anywhere comfortable with your back supported.

Myth: It takes hours to see results. 

-Even 5-10 minutes daily can significantly reduce stress and improve mood.

Myth: It is about "concentration." 

-It is actually about relaxation and letting go, not forcing the mind.

Myth: It is for spiritual people only. 

-Meditation is a universal practice for mental health that anyone can use.

Myth: You cannot be, or are not, meditating if you feel restless. 

-Restless feelings are simply things to observe, not a sign of failure

Some helpful tips

• Set aside a few minutes each morning or night to meditate. The morning meditation is beneficial for setting the tone of your day but also meditation at night it a wonderful way to release the stresses of the day. You don't need to spend hours meditating. 

• When you go to meditate it's really important, regardless of the amount of time you choose, to remove distractions for that time. Quiet your phone, turn off the tv, set some meditation music if you need.

• Make sure you are comfortable and supported. It doesn't matter if you are on the couch on the floor in your bed. I used to meditate in my car on my lunch break.

• While meditating don't fight thoughts.  Watch them come and go. I like to imagine the thoughts are fish in a pond. I can watch but I don't need to catch them. 

• Remember it's not about concentration. Many people struggle with letting go and relaxing. You don't need to control the mind. The thoughts a slippery fish, don't fight them. Just breathe and watch what comes up.

• Observe. Your thoughts but also your body. Your body is a messenger of thoughts too. If you are feeling restless, or fidgety, it's just your mind expressing something to you. If you feel to stressed to sit and meditate, be kind to yourself and try again later. 

• Be calm, breathe and trust yourself. Let go.

    I used to fight my thoughts, and get frustrated with myself. I wondered what was wrong with me. Wondered why my mind was always 'on'.  Turns out nothing is wrong. I have a healthy mind, full of thoughts. Be graceful with yourself if you are just starting with meditation or if you have been with it for some time. It is a mindfulness technique. There to help calm you, not stress you.

"Exercise, prayer, and meditation are examples of calming rituals. They have been shown to induce a happier mood and provide a positive pathway through life's daily frustrations."

-Chuck Norris

I invite you to be kind with yourself, breath and relax and let meditation work for you. 

Photo credit : CreativeCanvasShop - Pixbay.com